


See You Again

by TheGayShipper (Miss_Vanderwaal)



Category: Pretty Little Liars
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/F, Post Time-Jump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-10-12
Packaged: 2018-09-27 11:40:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10018916
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Vanderwaal/pseuds/TheGayShipper
Summary: "Hey! Hope you’re home already. Jordan and I are in Philly still, waiting for a cab. We’ll meet you at the Brew in half an hour, tops."Emily couldn’t stop grinning. Something about Hanna also thinking of Rosewood as home, after all that time, was making her feel warmer inside."I can’t wait to see you guys", Emily texted back instantly, putting a heart emoji next to the sentence just so Hanna would have an idea of how fast her own heart was beating.





	1. Guess who?

**Author's Note:**

> I have this story on another website, in Portuguese, for a bit more than a year now and I've been wanting to write an English version for it pretty much ever since I first posted it, but I didn't have the guts to do it until now. 
> 
> It was actually a request from one of my Brazilian readers and I hadn't ever thought of Hannily as an actual couple until I started writing it (while listening to See You Again, by Charlie Puth - the version with no rap). So, that, among a few other reasons (such as my first main original character), is why this story is so dear to my heart. I hope you like it :) 
> 
> Also, there's no A drama. Just a bit of drama in general. But it's mainly just fluff.

   Emily  breathed in the conditioned air that filled her rental car while staring at a red light. Her stomach was tightened and her palms were slightly sweaty against the steering wheel.

   Although she was a little nervous, she did took the time to notice that Rosewood hadn’t changed one bit since she left, except for a few new semaphores and recently painted crosswalks here and there. She still knew her way around that town as if she hadn’t spent one sole day away. People’s yards were just as imaculate and Emily still felt like time passed slower in there, unlike in cities such as San Diego, which was soothing, in a way.

   She parked in front of her mother’s house – which she would never stop reffering to as _my house_ – and grabbed her old key, instinctively looking for Pam’s figure anxiously waiting for her on the porch. Her mother wasn’t there, though, because Emily had told her only that she would be there that Friday; she hadn’t given her a specific time.

\- Mom? – the girl called, leaving her suitcase near one of the couches.

   Stepping into a silent house had never been unusual to Emily; her father had spent more time phisically away from them than with them, and Pam wasn’t loud even in her wildest dreams. But, of course, there was something heavier in that specific silence: Wayne’s permanent absence.

\- Mom? – Emily paced around the tidy kitchen. – I’m trying to do sort of a great entrance here but you’re not not helping.

   She paced back to the living room and finally heard someone walking down the stairs.

\- I thought I heard your voice and I know I’m not senile yet – Pam grinned and Emily ran to her mother’s embrance.

\- I missed you – the girl said, squeezing her mother tightly against her.

\- Not more than I missed you, young lady, I guarantee you.

   As soon as Emily took those words in, her eyes filled with tears.

   It had been a year since Wayne’s death; a year since she had dropped out of college – she was a senior at the time already, but she began skipping classes until she lost her scholarship. She had claimed to her mother she needed some time to breathe, and that time wasn’t over yet. She was still working full-time as a barista in San Diego, saving up so maybe, just maybe, she would be able to pay for Architecture school with her own money someday. But part of her knew she was just fooling herself, because, for Christ’s sake, that had never been her dream.

\- I’m sorry – Emily murmured against her mother’s left shoulder because an even bigger part of her knew that she should’ve dropped _everything_ in California to come stay with Pam after the funeral.

\- You said that last Thanksgiving – the woman pointed in a light tone, still holding her daughter. – And there’s no need for you to say it anymore. Just promise me you won’t leave as soon as the weekend’s over like you always do.

   Emily disentangled from her mother and held both of the woman’s hands, smiling.

\- I’m on my summer break – Emily informed, incredibly glad that she wouldn’t have to leave on Sunday, after Wayne’s memorial. – We’re gonna have two weeks this time. Not bad, huh?

   Pam leaned against Emily for a quicker hug.

\- The only thing better than that would be you staying forever.

– 

    Emily realized how much she was tired only after she got out of a forty-minute shower. She lay on her old bed – Pam insisted on keeping the room just like eighteen year old Emily had left it, five years ago – and breathed in the smell of fabric softner on the sheets, allowing all of her troubles to melt away.

   The bip coming from her phone prevented her from closing her eyes. Emily grinned as she acknowledged an incoming text from Hanna.

   _Hey! Hope you’re home already. Jordan and I are in Philly still, waiting for a cab. We’ll meet you at the Brew in half an hour, tops._

Emily couldn’t stop grinning. Something about Hanna also thinking of Rosewood as home, after all that time, was making her feel warmer inside.

   _I can’t wait to see you guys,_ Emily texted back instantly, putting a heart emoji next to the sentence just so Hanna would have an idea of how fast her own heart was beating.

– 

   Inside the upgraded coffee place – meaning it finally served more than coffee and chocolate treats nowadays –, Emily sipped her Piña Colada. She knew that she probally wasn’t supposed to be drinking at that time of the afternoon, but it was way too hot for regular coffee and, the hell with it, she was happy, even though she had been sitting alone on that couch for about ten minutes.

   Emily was setting her almost empty glass onto the coaster on the coffee table when she felt two palms covering her eyes. A wave of addrenaline went through her and of course she already knew to whom those fingers belonged, but she took the time to slide her own fingertips across them anyway.

   She felt the half a dozen rings at first, then the recently manicured nails. Lastly, Emily breathed in the sweet, almost intoxicating, perfume.

\- Guess who?  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't remember which city in California Emily lived in during the time jump, so let's pretend it's San Diego, okay? xD


	2. Don't say no

\- Oh, my God! – Emily jumped off her seat and enlaced the blonde, tightly. – I can’t believe it’s been a whole year!

\- Me neither – Hanna whispered, still grasped onto Emily, which allowed the brunette’s hands to wander fondly across her back. – I missed you like crazy and I simply can’t deal with only seeing you in mourning events anymore.

   Even though Emily knew she should feel guilty hearing that whole statement, she closed her eyes and sighed, highly relieved, because she was only able to focus on the _I missed you like crazy_ part.

\- Let me look at you – she moved away from Hanna and held the girl’s hands, eyeing her once from head to toe. Hanna had dyed her hair platinum, which brought out her ocean blue eyes even more. – God, you look so much more gorgeous in the real world than you do on your Instagram pictures. You don’t need a single one of those filters, I’m just saying.

   Hanna smiled while seemingly blushing.

\- Now let’s do you – she eyed Emily from head to toe this time. – Converse shoes; leggings; a vest; clearly still refusing to go get a haircut unless it’s extremely necessary. Yeah. You haven’t changed one bit. And you must be _such_ a chick magnet on the West Coast.

   Emily giggled, feeling her cheeks on fire.

\- In fact, is it just me or you look even more tanned than you did the last time we Face Time’d? – Hanna added, taking a seat on the couch.

\- And that was what? – Emily sat next to her best friend. – Seven hours ago? I don’t think so.

   They spent a few seconds in silence while Hanna picked up a magazine from the coffee table and Emily started looking around the small place. There was no face known by the two of them in sight.

\- Where’s Jordan? – Emily questioned, frowning.

   Hanna looked up at Emily from the magazine she was currently perusing, then glancing at the door of the coffee shop.

\- Oh, I must’ve lost her on the way here – she sighed, rather dramatically, laying her eyes back on the magazine. – I’ve been so distracted lately. But don’t worry. I’m sure she’s not far from here. We’ll go after her as soon as we do some catching up, okay?

   Emily’s eyes widened. Hanna’s tone was as casual as ever, there was no trace of worry on her face. What the hell? Hanna was an adorable air head sometimes – emphasis on _adorable –_ , but not like _that._

\- What?! – Emily did her best to keep her voice down.

   Emily’s reaction made Hanna’s lips curve into a discrete half smirk. Then, a pair of short arms enlaced Emily’s neck, interrupting her train of thought. Jordan jumped on Emily’s back, screaming a cheerful _surprise!_ and causing the brunette’s lungs to fail for a fraction of a second.

\- Are you two trying to kill me? – Emily finally laughed, pulling her goddaughter closer to her.

   Jordan giggled.

\- It was Mom’s idea.

\- Of course it was – Emily put the little girl on her lap. – Let me tell you something: your mother is the Devil.

   Jordan giggled again, this time because of Emily tickling her belly.

\- I missed you, you know? – Emily kissed Jordan’s cheek. – Last time I was with you personally, you still fit into those baby swings.

\- I remember – Jordan stated, reffering to the last time Emily went to New York, two years ago. – And I missed you too, Emmy.

   Hanna’s daughter had never called her “auntie Emily”, which seemed to be the tradition between children and their godparents. “That way people will think we’re best friends”, it was Jordan’s explanation for always calling Emily by the very same nickname the brunette’s father used to call her, and Emily’s heart melted every single time.

\- Good, because your birthday present is right over here – Emily looked over her shoulder, to the bag beside her on the couch – It came straight from San Diego, so you can probably still smell the sea air.

   Jordan jumped off Emily’s lap and grabbed the bag, blissfully. She had turned five two weeks ago and Hanna always said with regret that she had never had the time to actually take her daughter to the beach, so Emily thought that a beach toy set – with Jordan’s favorite Disney princess, Pocahontas, printed onto the little pink bucket – would be the perfect gift. And hearing her goddaughter wow at the new toys was genuinely priceless.

\- What are the magic words? – Hanna chimed in, eyeing her daughter.

   Jordan let go of the toys immediately and gave Emily a hug.

\- Thank you, Emmy. I love you.

\- I love you too, Jordie – Emily replied with a melted heart once again, kissing the top of the little girl’s head.

   It was during demonstrations of affection like those that Emily realized how fast Jordan was growing up. She thought back to the moment of Jordan’s birth. Caleb had held Hanna’s right hand and Emily her left one. It seemed as if that, just like Jordan’s christening, had happened yesterday.

   Also, it was when Emily realized how grown up Jordan already was that she wished she could’ve been there for Hanna when her relationship with Caleb started to wear out.  

   Hanna was already pregnant when she graduated from high school – in fact, Emily found out about it during prom. Caleb obviously went with her to New York as well as Ashley Marin, who felt entitled to help raise her granddaughter so Hanna could go to college.

   Now, at twenty-three years of age, like Emily herself, Hanna was on her way to becoming a fashion designer. It had been four months since she and Caleb broke up and, even though they didn’t get married, the process was just as stressful as a regular divorce, for everyone involved.

   Of course Emily and Hanna spent practically all the time connected via social media, but technology still lost when it came to the irreplaceability of physical comfort, and the fact that Emily hadn’t been able to give her best friend a tight hug during that difficult time in the blonde’s life still killed her.

   Although, Hanna gave Emily a thankful smile while seeing her daughter so happy, and that, alone, made the guilt completely fade away from Emily one more time.

\- Oh, I almost forgot – Emily added, turning to Jordan again. – You’re gonna get to give these a try-out very soon.

  The little girl’s blue eyes widened in excitement.

\- Are we going to some beach? Mom didn’t tell me Rosewood had beaches.

   Emily let out a small laugh, hating the feeling of bursting someone’s bubble.

\- It doesn’t, honey. But we’re going to my house and you can play in my back yard.

\- Oh – Jordan glanced down for a second, visibly disappointed, but then smiled. – That sounds fun too.

\- Right, but we can’t stay very long – Hanna said only to Emily this time, in a lower tone, causing the brunette to frown.

\- What do you mean?

\- We’re staying at the Radley.

\- No, you aren’t – Emily replied as if it was ridiculously obvious.

\- I made reservations. The cab is probably there already with our luggage.

\- Okay, here’s what you’re gonna do – Emily began, slowly and in a slightly humorful tone. – You’re gonna take your phone, call the hotel, cancel the reservations and ask very nicely for them to send your luggage back to my place on another cab. The ride is my treat.

   That little step-by-step seemed to leave Hanna with no counter argument.

\- What about your mom? – she asked, softly – I don’t want us to be in the way of her…

\- Mourning? – Emily cut her off with a playful half smile.

\- Well, yeah. She must want some space. Wasn’t that why she decided to cool things off with Gregg for a while?

   Emily shook her head and placed her right palm onto Hanna’s left knee, over the blonde’s long white skirt.

\- Han, don’t mix things up. The guy works with her at the station and they just started going out. You’re like the daughter that she didn’t carry. Therefore, Jordan is the granddaughter that she never got to hold. She’s gonna be just _so_ happy once she sees the house full again. And I will, too.

   Hanna smiled, slightly teary eyed, and placed one hand on top of Emily’s, then intertwining their fingers.

\- Now, how can I say no after you put it like that?

   Emily shrugged while her right side tingled with delight.

\- Just don’t say it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't remember exactly how this chapter came about; all I know is that I totally see Hanna being a mom (precisely of a little girl), more than any other liar on the show. I often imagine her parenting along with Mona, but thanks to the request I got one year ago, I see her doing it with Emily as well.


	3. Dreaming doesn't hurt

 

\- So you have a sandbox on your back yard, Emmy? Like on playgrounds?

\- No – Emily calmly answered as she was slowly guiding Jordan by one hand to her house –, but my mom wants to plant roses, so there’s a small part of the back yard with no grass on it. It’ll be just like playing in the sand.

   Hanna was holding Jordan’s other hand and, together, she and Emily would lift the little girl up from the ground for a second every time they got to a curb, before crossing the street. Jordan kept giggling, as if she hadn’t been happy like that in a long while. She obviously missed having her hands held by both of her parents at the same time.

   A sensation of pure bliss was also growing inside Emily. It had to do with protecting that little girl alongside Hanna, teaching her things. After all, Emily knew that they were a family in the eyes of the strangers that passed by them on the street, and, for that short amount of time, she allowed herself to believe that she was part of that family.

\- Alright, there, munchkin – Hanna held Jordan by one wrist to prevent her from sprinting across Emily’s lawn to the back yard. – Before you get those knees dirty, let’s go say hi to Mrs. Fields.

   Jordan rolled her eyes and sighed, but with a small smile on her face, then running to the front door of Emily’s house instead.

\- Oh, there you are! – Pam exclaimed from the kitchen, sounding delighted. – The computer screen makes you seem smaller but look at you! So big!

   Once again, Jordan let out the cutest little laugh as Pam was probably picking her up to give her a kiss.

\- I told you – Emily murmured, putting an arm around Hanna’s shoulders as they were walking slowly towards the kitchen. – _So_ happy.

   Hanna closed her eyes for a moment and breathed out through a smile, melting a little into Emily’s half embrace, which caused the brunette to feel the butterflies doing their thing inside her stomach.

\- You know, from the very beginning I thought it’d be perfect if Jordan and I spent some time here with you – Hanna told her, sounding tired but happy as well. – I was just waiting for you to invite us.

   Emily stopped walking, yet in the living room, and faced her best friend.

\- Well, the only reason I didn’t formally invite you guys is because it didn’t occur to me that there could be any possibility other than you staying here.

\- I know – Hanna lowered her gaze for a second as if she was embarrassed. – You’re totally right. But it’s like I said before, I thought… you know, I don’t even know what I thought. I’m just glad we’re here now.

   Hanna briefly stroked Emily’s side and the brunette felt the butterflies in her throat. The two of them were so close that, if Emily tilted her head in Hanna’s direction just barely, their lips would touch. And Emily realized that her own lips were itching for that to happen. But instead, she tilted her head up a bit and kissed Hanna’s forehead as they resumed walking.

\- So am I.

–

\- Damn it, woman, stop working already – Hanna demanded, after a childlike groan, as Emily was filling the drawers of the dresser in the guest room with Hanna’s and Jordan’s clothes. It was the blonde’s way of saying “you don’t have to do this”. – You’re making me feel useless here.

\- Then come help me.

   Hanna crossed her legs on the window seat.

\- Why don’t you just stop?

   Emily laughed, slightly shaking her head. Hanna would always be Hanna. She folded a couple more of Jordan’s t-shirts and sat next to the blonde.

\- Alright, what? – Emily asked, softly but with a bit of cockness in her tone, as she noticed a sweeter expression on Hanna’s face. It seemed as if the blonde wanted to talk.

\- You _know_ why I’m here – Hanna began, looking unhesitatingly into Emily’s eyes. – Sure, the memorial on Sunday is the obvious answer but I’d come sooner or later even if there was no memorial. It’s time for you to spill your guts about Gregg.

   Emily sighed, knowing she had absolutely no escape.

\- You know everything there is to know – Emily shrugged in one already failed attempt of leaving things at that. – They’re getting to know each other and now she wants some time to herself so she can go through her husband’s first anniversary of death.

\- Em – Hanna whispered, bringing the brunette’s gaze upwards with a palm on one side of her face. – The only reason I didn’t make you talk about this beyond the words “he’s a nice guy” is because I knew there was no way I could comfort you through a screen. But now I’m here, and with any luck I’m staying for a quarter of the summer, so you might as well tell me how you feel.

   Emily leaned against that touch just barely, as her core softened because of those words.

\- Sometimes I think I won’t even be able to go through with saying hi to him – Emily began, talking through her already shaky breathing. Hanna grabbed one of her hands as if saying “that’s it, keep going”. – I mean, he’s such a gentleman, I honestly don’t dislike him one bit. It’s just… the way he resambles my father when he’s near her… it’s overwhelming to me, most of the times. I can’t explain it, but I see him in Gregg. I don’t know if I’d see him in any other guy my mom decided to go on dates with, or even if I’ll stop thinking that my father’s ghost orbits around this one, I just know that I want her to be happy again.

\- _That_ you have no reason to tell me – Hanna leaned in to give Emily a hug. – And I’m no fortune teller but I’d say it’s all normal. Yes, you would see your father in every gentleman your mother tried to have a relationship with and yes, this will stop, eventually. Give it some time, you’ll see.

    Emily grinned, yet inside Hanna’s embrace, feeling the urge to cry fade away. It was as if suddenly Hanna was a therapist and those were the exact words Emily needed to hear to be sure she wasn’t going crazy.

\- Thank you – she whispered, then starting to hear eager footsteps from afar.

\- You guys! – Jordan came in running, seemingly too excited to notice that Hanna and Emily were in the end of a special moment. She was barefooted, breathless and her knees were dirty already, like Hanna had foreseen they would get, sooner or later. – I found earthworms outside. _Real earthworms!_

  - You didn’t happen to bring any of them with you, right? – Hanna asked, already disentangled from Emily and at the marge of making a face.

\- No, but you _have_ to come see them. They’re _so_ funny!

   Emily couldn’t help but laugh. Jordan was probably the only five year old girl ever to be _happy_ while discovering earthworms for the first time.

\- We can play as soon as Mommy finishes helping Emmy with the clothes, okay, baby? – Hanna said after exchanging a brief glance with the brunette.

   Emily stared at the blonde with an incredulous but descrete smile on her face. _The audacity_ , she thought, although not expecting anything else coming from Hanna, a woman who claimed to be uncomfortable near ladybugs.

\- But it has to be now – the little girl insisted, pouting –, or else they’ll hide in the dirt again. Please, please, _please._

   Hanna was about to make another excuse up when Emily decided to chime in, getting up.

\- Let’s check out those earthworms, you and I – she said, guiding Jordan out of the room –, while Mommy finishes up around here.

   She winked playfully at Hanna but did not stick around to be possibly daggered by the blonde’s eyes.

\- She told me it would be different in Rosewood – Jordan stated, seemingly not wanting to play anymore, as she and Emily kneeled on the back yard. – She said she would have more time for me here.

   Emily felt her heart starting to clench.

\- Why do you say that? – she carefully asked, stroking the golden-haired girl’s back – You think she doesn’t have enough time for you in New York?

\- Sort of – Jordan sighed. – I mean, she works a lot, drawing, and almost every time I ask if I can draw with her she says it’s grown-up drawing. Daddy works a lot, too, and he never lets me play on the computers he fixes. Sometimes I think I like Grandma better because she never forbids me from doing anything and always takes me to Central Park.

   Emily smiled, thinking of Ashley Marin as the perfect grandmother in the eyes of a child that she had become.

\- I love it here so much already – Jordan abruptantly smiled, which soothed Emily instantly. – It’s so calm and the houses are so big. Not to mention that the yards have real grass. Can you _believe_ that the playground outside of our building has fake grass? Now, what’s the fun in that?

   Emily laughed at her goddaughter’s eloquent complain.

\- I remember.

\- I wish Mom would decide to live here with me forever – Jordan concluded, crestfallen.

   Emily resumed stroking Jordan’s back. It was kind of saddening for her to admit to herself that Hanna was destined to become a woman of the world. She wouldn’t settle in a town like Rosewood ever again.

\- So do I, Jordie – she said, because dreaming didn’t hurt. – So do I.


	4. Second best mom ever

   The welcoming Saturday morning sunlight woke Emily up with an idea, and such an amazing one that it didn’t allow her to stay in bed for much longer. She ran to the guest room and woke Hanna up as if they were two kids on a Christmas morning. The blonde called her a lunatic before and after she spilled out her plans for the rest of the day.

   Jordan had loved the back yard “with real grass” in such a way that she had begged for Hanna, Emily and Pam to let her sleep under the stars that night. Hanna had said no at first, but then Pam chimed in to appease the situation – just like an authentical grandmother would do –, saying that there was a camping tent in the attic and that she could stay with Jordan through the night in the back yard. Of course Hanna hadn’t had any counter argument to that, because Jordan began jumping up and down cheerfully at the very same instant.

   Now, as she was walking beside Hanna towards the tent that Jordan and her mother had spent the night in, Emily realized that the Pocahontas beach toy set hadn’t been the best gift ever for the little girl, after all. What she was about to give her, though, would be. Emily felt like she wouldn’t be able to hold in her own excitement.

\- Rise and shine, sleepyhead – Emily singsonged, crouched down at the tent’s entrance and fondly grabbing one of Jordan’s ankles. Pam was already up. – It’s time for breakfast.

\- I don’t wanna have breakfast – Jordan murmured, still half asleep. – I ate too many marshmallows last night.

\- Now, what was that I told you? – Pam asked a bit sternly but with a small smile on her face.

   Jordan simply let out a silent laugh and rubbed one of her eyes.

\- If you come out right now, I’ll tell you the really good reason why you should go have breakfast – Emily promised, making sure that her tone would entice the little girl just enough, and it did.

   Jordan slowly raised her head from the pillow like a curious kitten.

\- What’s that?

\- Come out – Emily insisted and Jordan finally crawled out of the tent, standing up in front of the brunette, who rested both of her palms on her goddaughter’s slim waist for a moment. – Do you know where Cape May is?

   Jordan shook her head, silently. Emily decided to rephrase the question, barely capable of keeping her lips straight.

\- Do you know _what_ it is?

   The little girl lolled her head a little to her left.

\- Some kind of camp?

   Emily did her best to muffle a laugh by pursing her lips.

 - No. It’s a coastal city in New Jersey. You know what _that_ means, right?

\- It has a beach – Jordan put the information together slowly, as if she was realizing that there was something odd about that little geography chat.

\- Exactly – Emily nodded, politely. – I’m taking everyone here for a little road trip there in just a little while, so you better have enough energy.  

   Jordan stayed silent for a few more seconds. With widened eyes and slightly parted lips, she looked up at Hanna and Pam, and then back at Emily.

\- Are you for real?

   Instead of responding, Emily patted the little girl on the hip.

\- Go eat your breakfast – she demanded one more time, finally allowing a full smile to curve her lips.

   Before obeying, Jordan threw herself onto Emily, giving her godmother the tightest hug in her power and blurting out a long succession of “thank you!”.

\- _Is_ she for real? – Pam asked Hanna, in a low voice, while the smile on her face showed that she was proud of her daughter’s idea.

\- Oh, she is – the younger woman laughed, seemingly both moved and entertained by what was going on before her eyes. – And it’s funny because Emily isn’t often like this. But when she decides to be, she just nails it.

– 

   Hanna hadn’t thought of her or her daughter wearing a swimsuit during that fraction of the summer, so she hadn’t put any in their suitcases; therefore, Emily took her and Jordan to the mall to buy new ones, right after breakfast.

   As soon as all four ladies – including Pam – were in Emily’s rental car, wearing their swimsuits underneath their light clothes, Emily started driving to south New Jersey, which was about an hour and a half away from Rosewood.

   As predicted, Jordan was frenzied; she refused to be held down by the seat belt on the back seat beside Pam, so, to try and distract her daughter a little, Hanna connected her phone to the car stereo and put _We Will Rock You_ , from Queen, to play. It worked fairly well.

\- Show’em how you’ll become the female Freddie Mercury one day, baby – Hanna smiled at Jordan through the rearview mirror before hitting play.

   And, for the next couple of minutes, Emily and Pam listened, bewildered, to that little five year old – whose feet didn’t even come close to touching the floor whenever she was sitting down – sing along to every word in the song with no hesitation between syllables whatsoever.

   Caleb was quite a big Queen aficionado himself and Jordan was clearly following her father’s footsteps.

   The next song that filled the air around them was _I Want to Break Free_ , and Emily thought that Hanna’s phone had a Queen playlist for when the blonde wanted to calm her daughter down. Jordan began singing again, with the right amount of dramatism, and, this time, it was impossible for everyone in that car not to sing along with her.

   An image of Jordan and Caleb singing that same song at the top of their lungs, with big smiles on their faces, while they made lunch together in the man’s new place came across Emily’s mind, making her even happier.

   Hanna left the song on repeat and, since everyone seemed to be enjoying it, it played for about a dozen times. The blonde turned the stereo off when Emily was about to park the car.

\- You’re not gonna sleep there, are you? – Hanna turned to her daughter in the passenger seat. Jordan was awfully quiet, eyeing the impeaccably blue sky through the left window in the back.

\- Of course not – Emily meddled in, playfully, after noticing that the little girl had opened the window a bit. – She’s blowing away the clouds so it doesn’t rain, right, Jordie?

  The golden-haired girl smiled, slightly surprised.

\- I haven’t seen any clouds yet, but how’d you know I was thinking about it?

\- It’s totally a thing – Emily assured her, then turning to her as well. – But let me tell you something: if it does rain, we’ll simply deal with getting wet. Now, look to your right.

   This time, Jordan obeyed with no resistance. Her mouth fell open and her eyes widened as they met the ocean from a distance. She didn’t “fangirl” like before; she simply gasped with her knees on Pam’s lap.

\- It’s so beautiful – she whispered, and there was audible emotion in her tone, which caused Emily to feel a little tearful.

   Hanna helped Jordan get out of the car and had to hold her daughter by one wrist so the little girl wouldn’t sprint away towards the sea.

   When they all got to the beach, Hanna crouched down and undressed Jordan, leaving her only with her brand new bikini on.

\- One more second – Hanna fished out her phone from her purse after applying waterproof sunblock on an eager-to-run-freely Jordan. – Give me your best surprise face.

   Once again, Jordan obeyed without complaining, smiling open-mouthed to the camera; her blue eyes were sparkling with bliss.

\- Now go have fun – Hanna said, putting her phone away. – But stay where I can see you.

   Jordan probably didn’t even hear that last demand. She simply kicked her flip-flops off and started running to the sea.

\- I’ll keep an eye on her – Pam said beside Hanna, then turning to her daughter. – You take care of this.

   The woman handed Emily a bag with towels and a few other things before getting rid of her own clothes, revealing a navy blue bathing suit.

   Hanna poked Emily playfully as Pam ran towards Jordan, who had stopped at the edge of the water as if she was suddenly uncertain about getting too close.

\- Mama Fields still got it – she commented in a mischievous tone.

   Emily opened her mouth, pretending to be shocked.

\- Shut up! – she laughed.

   Hanna giggled along and then they sat on their beach mats.  There weren’t many people around and such tranquility allowed them to hear the sound of the waves perfectly, as if they were holding an ear shell close to their ears.

\- I still can’t believe you brought us here – Hanna stated in a more serious tone, arching her neck a little in relaxation. – I mean, I came back to Rosewood to spend some time with my in-mourning best friend and now, twelve hours later, we’re, like, partying in New Jersey. This is not like you, you have to admit.

   Hanna was looking at Emily now, smiling and getting the brunette to blush.

\- I just felt like I had to do this – Emily confessed, softly. – I felt like we all had to breathe a little. I don’t know. Maybe it was my dad whispering it to me in my sleep. Besides, it felt good when you called me a lunatic. Maybe I gotta start doing more things like this to really earn the title.

   Now Hanna was the one that seemed to be blushing.

\- Well, you did great, Em. And you know you’re gonna be even more of a wonder woman to Jordan as of today, right?

\- I thought I was Pocahontas to her – Emily joked.

  Hanna laughed.

\- You’re right. Well, I don’t know which one you find more flattering to be compared to; just know that you’ve been my wonder woman ever since freshman year of high school.

   With that, Hanna kissed Emily on the cheek, and the brunette’s core started burning up. The sun wasn’t to blame for that, of course, even though it was high up in the sky already. The only ones to blame were Emily’s feelings. And she didn’t know anymore for how long she would be able to keep hiding them.

–

   After lunch – and after the three women spent some time helping Jordan build her very first sand castle –, it was time for Hanna and Emily to go with the little girl to the water.

\- Do you wanna go further away from the coast or are you scared? – Emily asked playfully, looking down at Jordan, who was clung to her left thigh.

\- I’m not scared! – Jordan replied, staring at the small waves dancing around her, even though she hadn’t loosened up her grip on Emily’s leg.

\- What do you think about learning how to swim, then? – the brunette suggested, exchanging a glance with Hanna to make sure it was okay – That way you won’t have to worry about being so _not_ scared like this anymore.

   Jordan agreed faster than Emily thought she would.

   First, the brunette taught her goddaughter how to hold her breath and release it under water, always holding her by the waist to make sure she would come back up at the right time. Then, Emily patiently started to teach Jordan how to flutter kick. Hanna helped by holding her daughter’s hands and keeping her arms straight out.

   They kept doing that until the tips of their fingers started to wrinkle, and every time Jordan reached her mother’s embrace – then hearing from Hanna versions of “good job!” and “way to go!” –, Emily strongly felt like _that_ was what she would like to do for the rest of her life. She kept imagining herself, as a teacher at a swim school, telling to scared kids something along the lines of “the water is your friend; you don’t have to fear it”.

   It was funny because Emily had always imagined herself as a swim coach, training young swimmers so they would win an olympic medal one day and thank her in their post-victory interviews. It was a pretty egocentric dream, really, based on endless competition, and for what? Temporary recognition and an all-time stressful life?

   All that competition had been what got her that injury on her shoulder in high school in the first place. Although, thanks to her goddaughter, Emily was now realizing that life could be incredibly simpler. She had always felt home in the water, inspite of all the pressure, and the only thing she wished now was to make people feel the same way.

 -

 They had dinner at Pizza Hut while the sun was setting.

   The rain, that Jordan had feared it would come before they could have fun, actually came, while Emily was driving back to Rosewood.

\- You’re very lucky, you know? – Emily eyed the litte girl through the rearview mirror. This time, Pam was occupying the passenger seat and Hanna was in the back, with her daughter’s head on her lap.

\- I know – Jordan murmured, with her eyes closed already.

   Most of the time of the drive was spent in a comfortable silence. Hanna – who definitely wasn’t one to spend a lot of time quiet when she was surrounded by people – kept serenely stroking her daughter’s hair, as if absorbed in her own thoughts.

   Something about her – maybe the caring way she was guarding Jordan’s sleep or simply her slightly wet hair, that accentuated her natural beauty – was making Emily want to contemplate her during the seconds that every single red light stayed on. Actually, not just that. Emily knew she wanted her best friend to kiss her again, and not just on the cheek this time.

   The rain was pouring heavily when Emily pulled over in front of her house. A still half asleep Jordan raised her head from Hanna’s lap.

\- C’mon, baby – the young woman whispered, picking her daughter up and agilely carrying her inside the house.

   Emily’s heart melted all at once before she could unbuckle her seat belt and, because of those two words, she was sure that what she felt was simply the greatest love in the universe. The conclusion didn’t scare her whatsoever.

\- I guess we won’t be camping tonight – Jordan murmured again, still using Hanna’s shoulder as a pillow.

   Hanna let out a soft laugh while slowly carrying her daughter to the guest room – which was downstairs.  

\- No, we won’t. But we still have to put you under a shower; you’re all salty. So you better shake the sleepiness off.

   Jordan mumbled something about being too tired to shower, but Pam chimed in.

\- We can camp again upstairs after you shower, I promise.

   The little girl instantly opened her eyes to meet the older woman’s ones.

\- Really?

\- Don’t you think you’ve had enough fun for one day? – Hanna stopped walking in the living room to face her daughter.

\- As a matter of fact, I don’t – Jordan responded pompously, with her arms around her mother’s neck, getting a brief laugh out of the three women.

\- Seriously, my room is big enough for that tent – Pam told Hanna in the same appeasing tone. – It’s no trouble at all, that is if you’re willing to spend one more night on your own.  

   Hanna took a second to analyze the woman’s words and then smiled. As an observer at the moment, Emily knew that her best friend had thought of what she had said the day before; _she’s gonna be just so happy once she sees the house full again._

\- If you guys keep spoiling her like that, she’ll certainly be a handful when she’s older – Hanna caved in, yet smiling.  

   With that, they all went to their respective rooms.

   Emily decided to take a shower as well. She was exhausted, but happy as she hadn’t been in ages. That was for sure the best kind of weariness.

   After getting out of her bathroom, inside of a spectacularly comfortable summery pajama, she thought of slumping on her bed and sleeping for the next fifteen hours – or at least until a little before nine o´clock, that was when the memorial for Wayne would start –, but it felt wrong, so she headed to her mother’s room to say goodnight to her three favorite people on Earth.

\- Oh, we have one down already – Emily acknowledged as she walked into the room and saw Jordan occupying a narrow spot on her mother’s bed. Hanna was sitting on the edge of the bed with Jordan’s feet on her lap.

\- I decided to take a quick shower too before starting to set the tent again – Pam explained in a soft tone; she was partially lay beside the little girl, as if, now, she was the one guarding her sleep –, but she couldn’t wait.

   Emily smiled.

\- I guess my goodnight kiss will have to be a good morning one tomorrow, then – she said.

\- No, you can give me a goodnight kiss now – Jordan murmured without moving a single muscle, as if she was talking to someone in a dream. 

   The comment made the three women laugh once again and Emily fit herself in between Jordan and her mother on the bed, kissing the little girl’s cheek repeatedly.

\- Goodnight, princess.

   Jordan didn’t respond to that, but Hanna tried to make her do it by softly stroking her back.

\- So, Jordie, don’t you have anything to say to Emmy about today?

   Emily waited for one more sweet “thank you”, but it wasn’t what she ended up hearing.

\- Emmy is the second best mom ever. 

   A considerably long silence followed Jordan’s half asleep statement. Hanna met Emily’s already wet eyes; _look at that_ , the blonde was subliminally saying with a small smile on her face. Pam fondly touched Emily’s shoulder as if she knew just how much that tiny word would affect her daughter.

   Being called a mom was the _only_ thing that Emily could’ve secretly desired after that magical day. _So_ secretly, in fact, that she didn’t have the slightest clue of said desire until Jordan actually verbalized it.

   Emily kissed the little girl on the cheek one last time, still trying to keep the happy tears inside her eyes, and said goodnight to her mother, kissing her as well.

\- Let’s enjoy that phase because, before we know it, she’s fifteen and slamming doors at our faces – Hanna advised her, practically in a whisper, as she was closing the door behind them.  

   Emily couldn’t help but smile as the image of herself and Hanna trying to “put some sense” into the head of a fifteen year old Jordan – who, by the way, wore a t-shirt with the logo of Queen printed on it – took over her mind. She _wanted_ her future to look like that. More than anything in the world.

\- Well, I think I deserve a shower now – Hanna stretched her arms overhead. – Goodnight, Em.

\- Goodnight, love – Emily responded serenely, proud of every syllable.


	5. Stormy night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, there's a little bit of a love-making action in this chapter, but no need to rate it M.

   Emily was woken up in the middle of the night by a loud thunder, the window shaker type.

   She was also shaking, but because of a nightmare she had just had about her dad.

   In it, she and Wayne were in some sort of deserted battlefield. Shots were heard; rifle shots. Dry and air-cutting sounds. But no one was around. Emily and Wayne kept running from an invisible danger, in an endless search of some safe place to hide. Although, in the dream, Emily didn’t care at all about her own safety. She could only focus on keeping her left hand glued to the the left side of her father’s chest. She wanted, at any cost, to protect Wayne’s heart.

   When she opened her eyes, she realized that the dream had been some kind of metaphore, because Wayne hadn’t died in combat, but of a heart attack.

   Within seconds, an even louder thunder broke the silence – which, until then, was only filled by the sound of the heavy rain –, sending shivers down Emily’s spine. Because of it, Emily remembered that cannon fire was also heard at some point in her dream.

   She genuinely had goosebumps now, from the back of her neck all the way down to her ankles, so she decided to go get herself a glass of water, to try and calm down.

   While she was sipping her water in the kitchen, Emily realized that she hadn’t really thought about her dad that day. It had been such a blissful one that Emily literally hadn’t had time to think about sad things, such as Wayne’s death and the fact that they would attend a memorial for him the next morning.

   As guilt was taking over Emily one more time, she drank the rest of the water all at once, to try and shove the feeling back down, then mentalyzing an apology to Wayne while she rinsed her glass.

   As she was heading back to her room, Emily noticed that the guest room door was ajar. She wasn’t able to shove down the sudden feeling of wanting to check on Hanna.

   The bedside lamp was on, but the blonde was asleep, alone – Jordan was still up in Pam’s room – and practically in a fatal position, which was strange.

   Emily stepped carefully closer to the double bed and noticed that Hanna was also shaking, but, unlike herself, the blonde seemed to be cold, not frightened, which was still strange, given that summer had started already. 

   Whatever the reason for Hanna to be shivering was, Emily walked over to the small closet and grabbed a blanket, then covering her best friend much like a mother would.

\- There you go, baby – Emily whispered as she saw Hanna’s body relaxing under the blanket.

\- Will you lie down with me for a bit? – Hanna murmured, not moving a muscle, before Emily could turn off the lamp and walk out of the room.

\- What did you say? – Emily asked, softly, even though she had heard it perfectly.

\- I’m still cold.

   That sleepily reply was more than enough to, not only make Emily feel warm again, but also to give her the familiar sensation of having her core melted.

\- The funny thing is that I didn’t realize I was cold, too, until now – the brunette whispered, lying carefully behind Hanna. She didn’t believe the blonde was actually awake to hear her, so her confession was more like an externalyzed thought.

\- Then hold me.

   With that, Emily’s heart ended up her throat. It was a much more articulated sentence. Oh, Hanna was _definitely_ awake.

   Emily’s left palm hesitantly slid over Hanna’s covered waist, pulling the girl slightly closer. She couldn’t possibly believe she was actually spooning with her best friend. Suddenly all the dreams and daydreams she had ever had about the blonde during her teenage years were merged into that wonderful reality.

   Emily breathed Hanna in, doing everything in her power to stay motionless; after all, she felt that the slightest movement could ruin it all. Although, Hanna’s next move made it impossible for Emily to remain that way. The blonde covered Emily’s hand with her own and the brunette felt her blood already at boiling point.

\- Han? – she had to ask – Are you asleep?

   Hanna turned to Emily almost immediately. There was a bit of mischief on her expression, which meant she had been awake that whole time.

\- Hi.

   Emily was sure that she was blushing like she had never blushed before, because Hanna seemed to be totally aware of just how close they were.

\- Hi – Emily tried, unsuccessfully, not to let her shaky breathing show. – I assume that talking while sleeping is something that runs in the Marin family.

   Hanna smiled.

\- Maybe. But I wasn’t sleeping just now. I had a bad dream.

   Hanna unceremoniously snuggled close to Emily, and the brunette bit back the urge of saying “me too”. The last thing she wanted was to make it all about herself.

\- Tell me about it – she whispered instead, feeling a little more at ease.

\- It doesn’t matter right now.

   Emily began stroking Hanna’s back to get herself used to holding her so intimately.

\- It was about Caleb, wasn’t it? – she asked, already knowing the answer, and Hanna nodded against her chest – You miss him, don’t you?

   The blonde was quiet for a couple of seconds.

\- Sometimes. But it has a lot more to do with waking up in the middle of the night and feeling no one next to me. It’s sort of devastating shifting in an empty bed after so much time in a serious relationship, you know?

   Emily knew. Even though she had never lived under the same roof with a lover, she knew. Because the emptiness in her bed, in California, had started to get to her, and it _was_ devastating.

\- But you’re here now, making it all okay again – Hanna added, actually sounding a bit sleepily.

   Emily opened her mouth to say something along the lines of “you’re welcome”, but the words wouldn’t come out because Hanna’s bare legs were brushing against hers. The blanket was making the blonde’s skin feel almost feverish.

\- Why did you have to leave? – Hanna spoke again, and her tone gave Emily the impression that she was dreaming about Caleb again.

\- Are you talking to me? – Emily asked softly, not knowing if she would get an answer. To her surprise, though, Hanna moved away from her just a bit, to look into her eyes.

\- Sometimes I wonder why we had to part ways for so long.

\- You know it was necessary – Emily responded, practically on autopilot, hating the sound of those words.

\- Was it, really? Because sometimes I go crazy thinking that I should’ve gone to Cali with you. Maybe I could’ve done something to make you feel like you didn’t need to drop out of college.

\- It wasn’t my dream – Emily cut her off. – I know that now. It was one of the reasons I dropped out.

\- Well, then maybe I could’ve helped you persuit an old dream of yours – Hanna said, warmly, smiling just barely. – My point is: my heart aches every time I think about how much time we’ve lost.

   Hanna’s voice was low and heavy by the time she concluded; heavy with guilt and perhaps with tears. Several speeches ran through Emily’s mind, all merging into one another. The brunette was desperate to say some magic phrase and make Hanna’s anguish vanish; although, again, she couldn’t speak.

   She kissed Hanna’s forehead instead, lowering her head slowly. The sides of their noses brushed against each other and Hanna made their lips do the same thing.

   Emily kissed Hanna as carefully as she could possibly do it, again feeling like a sudden move could ruin it all. The blonde was considerably more eager, though, and the kiss deepened because of her.

   Also because of Hanna, Emily’s universe was finally balanced. She had searched for that exact sensation in several different kisses over the past few years and, now, happy tears were threatening to streak down her face.

   Hanna slid one of her hands from Emily’s back to her left butt cheek, squeezing it with no previous warning. Emily let out something between a laugh and a sigh, then taking Hanna’s tank top off. She stopped for a second, though, while taking in the sight of a braless Hanna.

\- Are you okay? – the blonde asked with concern-filled eyes.

   Emily barely nodded.

\- It’s just that you’re so, _so_ beautiful.

   Hanna grinned, seemingly relieved, which brought out her heart-melting dimples.

\- You’re beautiful, too.

   She pulled Emily to another passionate kiss, then starting to undress her as well.

   Soon enough, Emily was delightfully lost in Hanna’s embrace; in her smell, in her hair, in the soft sounds she was making. Lost in a way that she didn’t want to be found, ever.

   The blanket had been kicked off the bed already, but Emily was still feeling feverish. Actually, she was starting to sweat. And of course she didn’t mind because Hanna had her fingers buried in her loose and messy hair, tugging it a little.

\- I love you – Hanna breathed out against Emily’s ear; her voice was heavy with desire this time.

   Unsurprisingly, that statement was the major responsible for Emily’s orgasm. Hanna reached her own climax seconds later.

\- God, I love you, too – Emily whispered while they were catching their breath, still tangled up to each other. – So unbelievably much.

   Neither of them said anything else for the following minutes. They put on their pajamas once again – after all, there was a child in that house and the door of the guest room was unlocked – and Emily folded the blanket, putting it back in the closet.

  The rain was pouring moderately now. Another thunder was heard, but from afar. Still, Hanna went back to snuggling close to Emily as if that sound had made her feel uneasy. The brunette smiled, starting to stroke Hanna’s hair ever so delicately.

   While Hanna apparently falling asleep again, Emily inevitably thought of a line that gradually became melodic inside her head.

   _It’s been a long day without you, my friend, and I’ll tell you about it when I see you again._

   Indeed, a long day. One with hundreds and hundreds of hours.

   Emily began singing it very softly, completely in spite of herself.

\- Are you gonna sing me to sleep? – Hanna asked with her eyes closed.

   Emily simply laughed. _Oh, right. The Marins are sleep-talkers._ Although, Hanna opened her eyes.

\- Do it – a “please” was implicit in the blonde’s tone.

   Emily did so because how in the world could she say no to _that_ face?

   She knew that the verses were probably in the wrong order but, once again, she didn’t care. She was only able to focus on how spooky was the fact that those words were the exact ones she wished she could say to Hanna.

   _How do I breathe without you?_

_I’m feeling so cold._

_Why'd you have to leave me when I needed you the most?_

_Carry on._

_Gimme all the strength I need to carry on._

   Emily sang – whispered, actually – the last line she remembered with flooded eyes.

   _And every road you take will always lead you home_.

   It meant that she would always wait for Hanna, but her tears said that she was terrified of _having_ to wait again.    

\- Emmy?

   Emily blinked her tears away as she heard her nickname being called by a faltering voice. Hanna was actually sound asleep. She turned to the door.

\- Jordie? – Emily rapidly wiped the remaining tears away and sat up on the bed as her goddaughter stepped closer to her – What are you doing up?

\- I heard thunder – Jordan told her, as if she was uneasy now, too –, so I wanted to check on Mom.

   Emily frowned and looked over her shoulder at a still sound asleep Hanna.

\- Mom’s fine, sweetie. Why are you worried?

\- Well, she doesn’t really like storms that much.

   Emily couldn’t help but smile, sitting Jordan comfortably on her lap.

\- And do you happen to know why?

   The little girl looked inside Emily’s eyes and her face was painted with a type of anguish that a child wasn’t supposed to experiment.

\- It was raining when Daddy left. A lot. Just like tonight, with loud thunder and all. Mom was really not okay that night. Grandma says that she doesn’t like storms now because she’s traumatized.

   Under normal circumstances, Emily would be proud of Jordan for knowing such a big word like _traumatized_ , but, obviously, that was not a normal circumstance and Emily spent quite a long time without knowing what to say.

\- That’s why I’m glad you’re here – Jordan added, resting her head on Emily’s shoulder. – I know you take good care of her.

   Emily immediately felt her eyes getting watery once again. _It never stops with these two._ She kissed Jordan’s forehead.

\- You do, too. You’ve been doing a wonderful job these last few months, baby. You’re the strongest five year old on the planet, y’know? – Emily glued their foreheads together and broke the contact only when a smile was curving Jordan’s lips. – I’ll tell you what. Why don’t you sleep here with us tonight? Go cuddle with Mom and give her a little more of this strength of yours. She really needs it.

   Jordan nodded and, after giving Emily her goodnight kiss, she crawled across the mattress to Hanna’s arms. The woman, still with eyes closed, promptly welcomed her, as if it was some sort of mother’s sixth sense.

   Emily lay down behind Jordan, after turning off the lamp, and kissed the back of the little girl’s head. Again, much like a mother. A second mother. She smiled and closed her eyes, knowing for sure that they were a family. Knowing for sure that _that_ was where she needed to be.


	6. Shared first place

   Emily opened her eyes gratefully while the morning sunlight was cordially inviting her to a brand new day. She smiled to herself. Her stomach began tingling as she remembered the adorable dream she had just had about Hanna. In it, they were having breakfast in bed and, suddenly, Jordan showed up from under the covers, happily putting a grape in her mouth and then carefully analyzing what more could she swipe off of the two women’s breakfast tray.

   In reality, though, mother and daughter weren’t in bed with Emily anymore, so the brunette decided to head to the kitchen because she was already aching to see them.

   She smiled again when she found Hanna sitting on one of the kitchen counter stools. The blonde was already dressed and had a mug of coffee in her hands.

\- Good morning, sunshine – Emily murmured, warmly, sliding an arm around Hanna’s shoulders and kissing her right temple. She couldn’t even comprehend how great was the fondness in her own simple greeting.

\- Good morning – Hanna replied in the same warmth. – I felt like it would’ve been a crime waking you up. It seemed like you were having a pretty good dream.

   Emily vaguely remembered going to sleep the night before with a specific time to get out of bed in the back of her mind, but she soon pushed the memory away.

\- I was – she said, truthfully.

   Hanna blushed visibly and Emily couldn’t help tenderly brushing their lips together. Hanna kissed Emily back, although not quite in the same intensity. The brunette thought it was because of Jordan, so she decided to stop.

\- Where’s mini Marin? – Emily asked, sitting next to Hanna and noticing how quiet the house was.

\- With your mom in the backyard. They’re planting the rose seeds while Pam explains to her, again, why we think she shouldn’t go to the memorial.

   Emily nodded. It didn’t feel right, to none of the three women, to put a little girl through one hour of mournful speeches, which would only bring her down and raise questions in her mind about losing someone forever – and that was a concept no child should worry about at such a young age. Therefore, Hanna would take Jordan to an indoors playground at the mall and pick her up there after the event was over.

\- She wants nothing more than to be there for you, though – Hanna added with a soft smile. She was obviously proud of how empathetic her daughter already was.

   For the umpteenth time that weekend, Emily’s heart melted. “Let her come with us”, she almost said, but then she remembered how terribly agonizing it used to be for her, as a kid, seeing her parents cry. She couldn’t, she _wouldn’t,_ do that to Jordan.

\- You know, it’s funny – Hanna chuckled, sounding somewhat distant. – Anyone would say that she grew incredibly more attached to you in twenty-four hours. But she has _always_ been attached to you like this. She would beam every time you said you had a little time to Skype us.

   Emily smiled, thinking back to a morning not that long ago, when Jordan had shown her very first lost milk tooth to her through the screen of a tablet. The little girl had always been part of her life, in the end of the day. She had always thought of Emily as family. Her drawings and even the hand-written letters, which either Hanna or Ashley would help her write and then send them to Emily, were proof of that.

 - I don’t wanna have to Skype you guys anymore – Emily said confidently, grabbing Hanna’s right hand. – God, I love her as if she was… I don’t know – although she very much knew. – All I know is that I wanna see her grow up. And I mean up close. I wanna be with both of you.

   Emily only realized what that last sentence sounded like when she was finish with saying it. Hearing her own love declaration scared her just a tiny bit, because her chest was mainly exploding with excitement.

   Hanna silently intertwined their fingers before replying, and Emily had to bite back a sigh of relief because it felt amazing having Hanna’s fingers filling the gaps in between her own.

\- Em, about last night – the blonde began, very softly –, I loved it. And I don’t regret one second of it. I can’t possibly assign a word to every amazing thing you made me feel. But it’s no secret to either one of us that I was needy when I asked you to lie down with me. And I’d hate myself if my vulnerability were the start of… something else between us.

   Emily was quiet for a moment, in which she only heard the pounding of her heart in her ears. She genuinely didn’t know what to make of that whole explanation. It sounded like Hanna was turning her down, but at the same time _considering_ the vague possibility of them being something else – and _that_ was already a win to Emily, because she honestly hadn’t expected that what had happened the night before would be a topic of their first conversation in the next morning.

\- I’m not following you – Emily told her, not wanting to sound disappointed because she wasn’t.

   Hanna climbed off her stool and stood before Emily with a gentle expression on her face. She delicately pushed a lock of Emily’s long hair behind her ear and took a short breath.

\- Like I said, last night I was in need of something – she began again, serenely. – Actually, I’ve been in need of this for several months. And you gave it to me. And, no, I’m not talking about an orgasm, I’m talking about love.

   Emily couldn’t help but giggle, even though her eyes were slightly watery.

\- A different type of love than the one we share – Hanna continued. – Last night I saw this other side of you, one just as beautiful, but that I didn’t think you would ever show to me. Well, you did and it moved me. I started seeing something here. Something that I’d hate to screw up – she swallowed hard, tearing up a little as well. – With that, I’m asking for some time. Time for me to organize things in my mess of a mind and be sure I’ll never unintentionally hurt you, because that’s my worst nightmare.

   It was written in those gorgeous blue eyes that Hanna dreaded doing to Emily the same thing she had done to Caleb in the long run – becoming a workaholic.

   Emily fondly wiped a tear away from Hanna’s cheek.

\- I’d give you all space-time if I could.

   Hanna smiled thankfully, leaning a bit against Emily’s touch and then briefly kissing her palm.

\- It’s twenty to nine – Hanna informed after turning to the counter again and checking the time on her phone. – I’m gonna take Jordan to the mall and then I’ll meet you guys at the church, alright?

  Emily nodded, unbelievably grateful for that talk.

\- Can I hug you before you go? – the soft request slipped easily from her lips and together with a smile.

   Hanna grinned and, without saying a word, put her arms around Emily for a handful of seconds. Emily got up as well, just so she could press Hanna a little tighter against her. She felt peaceful, like she always did when she was glued to the blonde, and no one would take that feeling away from her.

\- I’ve been madly in love with you ever since high school – Emily told her with her eyes closed, as if it was a brand new confession.

   They disentangled from each other and Hanna’s lips got dangerously close to the corner of Emily’s, in an unhurried kiss.

\- I know I’m slow, but I’d be lying if I told you that I never noticed it – Hanna smirked, half-teasingly, and went outside to get her daughter.

 -

   Emily didn’t get dressed exactly in a hurry, but she did forget having breakfast.

   She and Pam walked to the church – which was fairly close to their house – with linked arms and without talking much. The older woman did comment on what a beautiful morning it was, though. It was pretty hot already and the sun had the whole sky to itself; not one single cloud in sight. In other words, it didn’t seem like the day for a memorial.

   Although, when Emily and Pam got to the church, the sympathy smiles coming from the large group of people that was already there – mostly members of the Army in their fifties – started to cause Emily’s stomach to tighten a little.

   She and her mom briefly hugged a few of those people – whose names Emily had grown up hearing without actually linking them to real faces until the day of the funeral – and went to sit on the front pew of the right row.

   Speaking of the funeral, the aura there was lighter than it had been a year ago, because, of course, Emily had done her absolute best to not feel things then. If she had allowed herself to collapse onto her father’s casket, her pain would’ve overcome her and she probably wouldn’t be there, twelve months later, to tell the story.

   Now, Emily was being able to breathe and look at the picture of Wayne in his colonel uniform while actually smiling. She glanced over at Pam for a moment and her mom, too, was looking ahead at her husband’s picture with a very subtle smile on her face. Emily grabbed the woman’s hand and intertwined their fingers, resting her head fondly on her shoulder; also something she hadn’t allowed herself to do a year ago.

   It was a couple of minutes past nine and a minister was already behind the lectern, thanking all for coming, when Hanna sat at Emily’s left side so silently that she had to touch the brunette’s knee to let her know she was finally there.

   Emily grinned at her sweetheart, only now realizing how hard she had unconciously prayed that Hanna would get there soon. She took the blonde’s right hand in her left one – without letting go of her mother’s hand – and met the minister’s eyes, feeling the bravery that she would need to get through the next hour starting to kick in.

  By the time the minister began thanking them all for coming for the second and last time, Emily’s head was on Hanna’s shoulder. The brunette blinked once everyone started getting up to leave the church. She had tears under her eyes and she wiped them as she felt like she was waking up from a trance. She didn’t remember more than half of the things that had been said; she mostly remembered keeping both of her eyes on Wayne’s smiling face that was on the easel next to the lectern.

   The only reason Emily didn’t ask to take that framed picture to San Diego with her was because she knew that it would be sent to their house later and that Pam would want to keep it. However, they did have the smaller version of the same picture in a photo album somewhere, so Emily made a mental note to find it, have it increased and framed as soon as she was back in California. She would hang it on her living room because looking at that beautiful picture was the next best thing to having her dad alive and well.

   Hanna was the one to break the somewhat comfortable silence while the three of them were going down the church's short staircase. Emily was still holding her right hand, surprised with how natural it felt doing it in public – sure, they had held hands outdoors when they were younger, but that was different in many levels.

\- What do you guys say we go pick up Jordan and then go for some ice cream?

\- I’m in – Pam sniffed ever so briefly before responding, but her cheerful tone sounded genuine.

   Hanna gave Emily’s hand a gentle squeeze as they stepped onto the sidewalk.

\- Em?

   Emily pondered for a moment, biting her lip. As much as she would love to surprise Jordan at that playground and maybe, just maybe, jump into a ball pool with her – because _that_ seemed like the best way to lighten up everyone’s mood –, she felt like she needed to do something first, alone; something that she knew she would keep postponing endlessly if she decided to go see the little girl right away.

\- I’d love to, but I think… I think I’m gonna go say hi to Dad – her tone was excessively apologetical at first. It felt weird for her saying that, but it was a phrase that her mother often used, lightheartedly. It was cute, actually. – It’s about time.

   Emily concluded confidently, glancing at Pam as she did it. The older woman’s proud smile reached her eyes, which were, again, slightly wet.

\- Of course – Hanna said, warmly, pulling Emily into a hug.

\- I’ll be home before you guys – Emily promised a second later, now in Pam’s arms.

\- No, baby, take your time – the woman slid a palm fondly across her daughter’s back before looking her in the eye. – I’m sure he’ll appreciate that.

   Emily subtly nodded, giving her mom a kiss on the cheek. Then, she turned to the opposite direction and headed to the graveyard.

   That place was oddly beautiful, she ventured thinking, with sunlight shining on the tombstones. It was awfully quiet – she was the only visitor there at the moment –, but it was a comforting silence, not a frightening one.

   Emily closed her eyes for a second as she felt the grass under her knees. She reached out to touch Wayne’s tombstone, almost in a caress. Engraved there, it read _When you go home, tell them about us and say “for their tomorrow, we gave our today”._

 - I don’t know why it took me so long to come here – Emily began, sounding out the words unhesitatingly. It felt equally comforting doing it, like having the dearest imaginary friend ever. – I mean, of course I do. You were bravery in human form, Daddy, and, lately, I haven’t been brave the way you’ve taught me to be.

   Emily paused for quite a long while. The tears gathering in her eyes weren’t exactly sad ones. Tears of relief, maybe? All she knew was that saying the word _Daddy_ out loud made her feel Wayne’s presence in a way she had never felt before.

\- But I don’t really need to tell you what happened to me in regards of school, right? If you’re watching over me, you already know what happened. So, let’s change the subject, shall we? – her own intent to sound cheerful made her laugh – The funny thing is that you already know about this, too, and not because you’re omniscient now, but because you’ve always been attentive. I don’t care, though. I need to tell you, word by word. I’m in love. I’m so darn in love, Daddy. And I wish I could hear your voice telling me to go for it.

   A small sob slipped from Emily’s lips as she lowered her head and shut her eyes to get rid of her tears – which weren’t just of relief anymore. Her mind flashed back to the day she had told Wayne that she was a lesbian. She was only fifteen at the time, a frightened baby. _I’m afraid of you and Mom_. Wayne had pulled her to his arms instantly. _You don’t need to be afraid of us, ever._

   Wayne had told her that everything was going to be okay even though he was clearly confused and worried about that whole situation at the time.

   Emily knew that she had felt what unconditional love was like that day.

\- Hanna and I used to spend hours on the phone at night, remember? – Emily continued after another long pause, softly now and with a genuine smile. – And, whenever you were home, you would come to my room and tell me to hang up, trying to sound mad. But you were never mad, were you?

   Emily laughed to herself once again, looking down at her fingers and feeling incredibly grateful for the father Wayne had been.

\- You’ve always known how special Hanna is to me and you have no idea how much I love you for that – she touched the tombstone again, praying that those words could reach Wayne’s soul, wherever it was. – And speaking of love, you remember Hanna’s little girl, right? Gosh, she’s so beautiful now, Daddy. So grown up, so clever. Call me crazy, but I think she gets it. She sees it. She _knows_ how much I love Hanna. She’s attentive just like you.

   Emily smiled once more, thinking back to the night before. Jordan had said she was _glad_ to see Emily taking care of Hanna during the storm. Oh, that girl _definitely_ had some kind of sixth sense.

\- I love her as if she was my own daughter – Emily said, knowing that it was exactly what she had wanted to say to Hanna earlier that morning. – I love both of them. I never felt so in the right place like I feel when I’m with them. But if, for some reason, it doesn’t work out, I’m not gonna run and hide away. Not again, I promise. I’m gonna make you proud of me.

   Emily concluded with dry eyes and another genuine smile, holding onto the top of the tombstone so she could get up. She had spent an indefinite amount of time kneeled down and her legs were a bit numb, but she honestly didn’t care. She was happy to have gone there.

  She stopped by the Brew to order a small cup of americano and a couple of salty pretzels to go, but ended up eating on her way home because her stomach wouldn’t stop grumbling.

   The second she stepped into the living room, Jordan, who was sitting on the couch holding an overdressed Barbie doll beside Hanna, ran to hug her hello.

\- Whoa, hi, there – Emily picked the little girl up. – I missed you, too. Did you have fun at the playground?

   Jordan didn’t respond to that, simply straddled Emily’s midsection and threw her arms around the young woman’s neck with an unquestionable urgency, as if she had waited impatiently for her to come back.

\- I’m really sorry about your dad, Emmy – she looked Emily in the eye while both of her forearms rested on the brunette’s shoulders. – Mom didn’t tell me to say that. I really, really am.

   While exchanging a brief look with Hanna, who was sitting on the couch with a soft smile on her face, Emily remembered what the blonde had said earlier that morning. _She wants nothing more than to be there for you._

\- Oh, baby, I know you are – she pulled the little girl to one more hug, unsurprisingly with a melted heart. – And thank you so much.

\- You missed ice cream time – Jordan murmured after a few seconds, still inside Emily’s embrace.

\- I know that, too – Emily slid a palm fondly across the little girl’s back, actually feeling guilty. – It won’t happen again, I promise. Do you forgive me?

   Jordan raised her head from Emily’s shoulder and smiled.

\- I do – she nodded, sounding more cheerful. – But only if you come play with me.

   Emily opened her mouth to say that she would love to, but Hanna chimed in.

\- How about showing Emmy your exclusive line of Barbie clothes? – she suggested, obviously meaning the clothes she had took the time to design and make just for her daughter’s dolls.

   Jordan beamed, with that “great idea!” look on her face. Emily laughed and put the little girl down, watching as she ran up the stairs to probably get the rest of the dolls she had brought with her – which was a bit weird, considering that her and Hanna’s stuff was in the guest room still, but oh, well, kids moved their toys a lot, didn’t they?

   Emily sat on the couch beside Hanna, looking around the room and, again, noticing how quiet the house sounded now that Jordan was upstairs.

\- Where’s my mom?

\- She went out to do last minute grocery shopping – Hanna responded, casually laying an arm over the back of the couch. – She wants to cook something special for us.

   Emily nodded, pleased with the answer. The coziness in Hanna’s tone when she stated the second part of the information made her feel inevitably warm – and hungry again.

\- What? – the brunette frowned, feeling a small wave of heat go up to her cheeks as well. Hanna kept staring softly at her.

\- Do you wanna hear something funny?

   _Well, I just came from a graveyard, I’d love to hear something funny,_ Emily thought about saying, but bit it back because it would probably spoil the mood.

\- Do I ever.

   Hanna put a hand behind her head, shifting slightly in her seat to get a little closer to Emily.

\- When we got here from the mall, Pam called out for you. Of course, we knew you wouldn’t get here before us, but she did it just to be sure. And… I _hated_ when you didn’t answer back. Call me crazy, but for a second or two I thought about the possibility of you being gone for good. I wanted to go check your closet just to be sure you were coming back. I didn't do it only because I didn't want to freak Jordan out.

   Emily could hear her heart pounding in her ears. She grabbed Hanna’s other hand and kissed its back. She didn’t even try to tell Hanna how absurd all that sounded; she simply focused on reasuring the blonde.

\- Baby, I would never disappear on you like that.

   Hanna smiled briefly, sliding the same hand along one side of Emily’s face.

\- I know. Believe me, I do. But my mind just went to that place. It scared me and it was good because it made me realize that I’d hate stepping into a room that doesn’t have you in it again.

   For a moment, Emily wasn’t phisically capable of responding. Her throat felt dry and it seemed as if her tongue was frozen by liquid nitrogen. She wanted to ask “what do you mean?”, but no sound came out of her mouth.

\- I told Jordan that we slept together last night – Hanna filled the silence in a more sober tone – and that I love you just like I’ve once loved Caleb.

   Emily instantly felt dizzy. She had to rest her own arm over the back of the couch so she wouldn’t involuntarily lean back.

\- What did she say? – her words were almost voiceless.

   Hanna smirked.

\- Would it be too unbelievable if I told you that she practically jumped up and down with joy on this very spot just a little while ago?

   Emily made her first attempt of smiling.

\- It would, actually.

   Hanna chuckled silently, looking away from Emily for a second.

\- We shouldn’t ever underestimate kids. People say it’s hard to tell things like that to them, but they’re way smarter than us. She understood it, Em – the blonde finally said, looking inside Emily’s eyes once again. – Like any child who’s been raised with nothing but love would understand. 

   Emily covered her mouth with the back of her hand so she hopefully wouldn’t start sobbing just yet. She glanced at the staircase. Jordan was taking an awful lot of time to come back down. Usually, when kids wanted grown-ups to play with them, they would fly to where their toys were at, grab as many as they could and fly back to where they originally were.

\- Did you tell her to keep quiet about it and to wait upstairs so we could talk?

   Hanna shook her head.

\- _She_ promised she wouldn’t say anything. _She_ decided to give us some privacy. She wants this to work, Em. Actually, it already works for her. This bond that you guys have… it shows that she already sees you as her second mom. The transition will be smooth as silk.

   _Will be_. Hanna seemed to be absolutely certain that there would be a future to them. A long one. And that implication was too much for Emily. She leaned in to press a kiss onto Hanna’s lips that deepened quickly and, this time, Hanna kissed her back just as passionately.

\- Come with us to New York – Hanna whispered in one quick outtake of breath as they parted lips. The proposal sounded like part of the plan.

   Emily was still a bit dizzy, so she had to ask Hanna to run that by her again.

\- I wouldn’t ask you to quit your current job if I didn’t know you hate it – the blonde added. And of course she wasn’t wrong. – You can move in with us after these couple of weeks in Rosewood. We can find you a new dream in the Big Apple. And you’ll only be two hours, tops, away from your mom. We can decide where to spend birthdays and Christmases by flipping a coin or something.

\- Shhh – Emily whispered against Hanna’s lips, giggling. – I’m sure it’ll all be wonderful, baby, but we can talk about the future later. Right now I just want this.

   She brushed their lips together once again, in a successful attempt of making Hanna slow down. When they moved away from each other, Hanna’s eyes were drawn to something – better yet, _someone –_ behind Emily.

\- Mom didn’t tell me when to come back down – Jordan stated, smirking just barely. Something about her expression in general seemed extremely mature for her age. She carried no dolls whatsoever.

   Hanna made a _tsc_ sound.

\- Oh, right – she extended one arm to her daughter and the little girl stepped closer, grabbing her hand. – We should’ve worked on a secret whistle or something.

   Emily’s eyes filled with tears by simply watching that interaction. She still couldn’t believe that those two had orchastrated that whole thing in so little time. She still couldn’t believe Jordan _knew_ about them. It felt incredibly liberating, though.

\- It’s too late now, I guess – Jordan turned to look at Emily. – Does the kiss I just saw mean yes?

   Hanna and Emily exchanged another look, half smiling as well.

\- Yes to what? – the brunette decided to play dumb just to see where Jordan would go with it.

\- Yes to you moving to New York with us – the little girl stepped in Emily’s direction, speaking carefully and with her blue eyes fixed on Emily’s darker ones. – Yes to me having two moms now.

   Emily met Hanna’s eyes again as the weight in the words “two moms” hit her, this time only for confirmation that she had heard it right. The woman smiled, proudly, as if saying “I didn’t tell her to say that, too”.

\- Yes, baby – Emily sat Jordan on her lap and kissed her cheek, knowing it would be impossible to bite back the happy sobs. – Yes, yes, yes! And I promise you I’ll try to be the best second mom ever.

   Jordan shook her head and pushed a lock of Emily’s hair behind her ear.

\- There’s no second place anymore – she eyed Hanna and grabbed one of her hands as well. – You two share first place now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had lots and lots of fun writing this AU Hannily family fic. I didn't know I had such a great spot in my heart for the two of them as a potential couple, but I do :)


	7. Happy Tears

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is sort of a bonus chapter. Today, October 12, is National Children's Day here in Brazil, and I wanted to celebrate by writing something from Jordan's point of view. I've actually been wanting to do it for a very long time and I hope I found her voice because writing from a child's perspective can be hella hard xD

   One of the ladies who worked at the indoors playground was holding Jordan’s hand and walking slowly with her while asking her where she wanted to go first.

\- How about the slide?

   Jordan looked up at the biggest slide there; a dark purple one that, if it was a normal day, would make her body shiver with excitement. She loved to go down on slides that had been clearly made for older kids. At that moment, though, she wasn’t feeling like being on a playground at all. What she really wanted to do was turn around and run back to her mom, who was heading to the church to be with Emmy. Jordan wanted to be with Emmy, too. She wanted to show Emmy that she was also strong. Instead, she sighed.

\- Okay – she forced a smile because she didn’t want the nice lady to feel bad for her.

   She let go of the lady’s hand and walked, already without her shoes, over to the big kids’ slide. There was no one in front of her or behind her, so she took her time with climbing up the soft and colorful ladder. It was hard to do it not because the ladder was tall, but because she _really_ didn’t want to be there. It was as if each step she took demanded a greater effort from her.

   When Jordan got to the tunnel that led to the slide, she was already tired, so she sat there with her arms around her legs for a while. She couldn’t hear the other kids’ laughter and happy screams that well anymore; therefore, she felt somewhat safe to rest her head on her knees and start sobbing quietly.

   Jordan missed her mom so much already, and it hadn’t even been five minutes since Hanna had left her there. Jordan missed Pam, too. She even missed Wayne; the fact that she had only seen him a couple of times through Skype didn’t matter. He used to wear such a cool Army uniform and it was so sad that Jordan had never gotten the chance to tell him how cool it was.

   She began crying harder at one point because she missed Emmy the most and Emmy was probably the saddest one at that church right now. It hurt so much thinking of a sad Emmy.

   Jordan stopped crying the second she heard someone climbing up the ladder. She was wiping her tears away with both of her hands as a girl crawled over to her.

\- What’s wrong with you? – the girl asked in a kind voice. She was older than Jordan, maybe seven years old because her front teeth were already big.

   Jordan looked up at the girl’s concerned face, feeling like it was probably okay to talk to her. She didn’t really think about her response, though. It just came out.

\- My grandpa died.

   A long silence followed that information. Jordan didn’t feel like correcting herself once she realized what was wrong with it.

\- Oh – the girl said, slowly, not knowing where to look at first. – I’m sorry.

   Jordan didn’t say anything else simply because she didn’t know what to say to that.

\- Do you wanna play with me? – the girl asked after another long while of silence.

   Jordan took a moment to respond to that. The girl seemed to be really nice, too, like the lady who had held her hand before. Jordan didn’t want to hurt her feelings, but there was no way she could say something different.

\- I want my mom.

   Jordan hated saying that, especially in front of older kids. It made her sound like a baby. But fresh tears began streaking down her cheeks and she wasn’t able to hold them back.

   After a second, the girl did something that actually surprised Jordan. She put an arm around her shoulders and pulled her close, as if to soothe her, like an older sister would do.

   Jordan leaned into the girl’s half embrace as she stopped crying again.

   As an only child, she had wished for a sibling many times, and with that stranger there, taking care of her, she allowed herself to pretend she had one. It felt good, like she wasn’t so alone anymore.

\- Where is your mom?

\- At the church – Jordan sniffled. – My family didn’t take me there ‘cause they thought I’d be sad. But I’m sad here anyway.

   Another moment of silence. The girl seemed to be trying and thinking of something to make Jordan feel better.

\- Time will go by faster if we start playing – she smiled. – And then, before you know it, your mom will be here to pick you up.

   Jordan smiled as well and nodded in agreement, actually feeling a little happier. Her temporary older sister went down the slide right behind her, as if to protect her, which Jordan was even happier about.

   Then, the girl – whose name was Mackenzie (Mack, for short) – guided Jordan to a trampoline – also made for big kids. They jumped and giggled holding each other’s hands until they were out of breath, and then they jumped some more.

   They went into a pool filled with white and blue foam cubes and then into one filled with standard plastic balls. The sadness from before had gone completely out of Jordan and that was turning into the best morning ever.

    Once she and Mack got tired of playing around, they sat at one of the small drawing tables and started coloring. The last thing Jordan did there before catching sight of her mom at the playground’s entrance, smiling at her, was a drawing of quite a few people. Her dad, Wayne, Pam, Emmy, her mom, Mack and herself.

\- You were right – she said to the girl as she hugged her goodbye. – Time did go by fast.

   She carefully folded her drawing twice and ran to her mother’s arms.

\- I see you’ve made a new friend – Hanna commented, proud smile on her face as she had Jordan wrapped around herself.

\- Yeah – _an older sister,_ Jordan corrected her mom in her head.

   Pam was there too, which Jordan was certainly very happy about, but there was someone missing. Her eyes widened in concern.

\- Where’s Emmy? – _please, don’t tell me she had to go back to San Diego,_ she couldn’t help but think.

\- She’ll meet us at home, sweetie – Pam explained.

\- She had some catching up to do with her dad – Hanna added.

   The graveyard, Jordan recalled, relieved. Her mom had told her that Emmy could talk to her dad from anywhere, but maybe people in Heaven were able to hear people who were still on Earth better if they went to a graveyard. Maybe it was like a hotline. Jordan let out a _phew_ anyway, which made both women laugh as they walked out of the mall.

\- What? Do you think she’d leave like that? – Hanna asked, still with Jordan in her arms – I’d kill her first.

\- And then I’d kill her some more – Pam added, making Jordan giggle.

   The three of them stopped at an ice cream place on their way home. Jordan couldn’t help but think that she would’ve loved it if Emmy had been there, but she planned on making Emmy feel guilty just enough so she would take them out for ice cream again later.

   They stepped into an empty house. Pam called out for her daughter just to be sure she wasn’t home yet and Jordan did feel a little bummed when she didn’t hear Emmy’s voice answering back. After that, Pam told them she would go out for groceries in order to make a special lunch.

\- Lasagna! – Jordan suggested, excitedly.

   Pam called her a genius before kissing her on the tip of her nose and heading out.

   Once there were only two in the house, Hanna went to the bathroom in the guest room and Jordan crawled onto the bed to play with the Malibu Barbie that she had brought from New York. Her mom had made such a pretty dress for that doll – a long, loose and beachy one, blue-colored in a way that reminded her of the ocean. It was her absolute favorite one.

   Within a couple of minutes, Hanna crawled onto the bed as well and hugged Jordan from behind, kissing her repeatedly on the cheek. Jordan giggled into her mother’s embrace.  

\- Turn around – Hanna said –, we have to have some real talk. 

   Jordan did so. That voice didn’t sound threatening, but she felt a pinch of worry in her stomach anyway.

\- Did I do something?

   Hanna chuckled slightly.

\- No, baby. You’ve been pretty good these past few days – she glued their foreheads together. – This is real, big-woman-to-little-woman talk.

   Jordan smiled at that. She loved when her mom called her a woman, even if it came after a _little._ She was still a bit nervous, though. The last big-woman-to-little-woman talk they had was when Hanna explained to Jordan why Daddy had left.

\- Remember when we talked about the possibility of me having a boyfriend again? – Hanna asked, very softly.

   Jordan nodded. _He has to like beaches, Queen and kids, of course,_ she had said to her mom then.

\- Well – Hanna began again, even more carefully, as if she was just as nervous as Jordan was about that talk –, what if, instead of a boy, that special friend was a girl?

   Jordan looked into her mom’s blue eyes as she thought about it. She hadn’t seen that coming, but she wanted to say that it wouldn’t be any different. She remembered the day Emmy had told her that she had a girlfriend. Her godmom had explained to her that girls could like girls and boys could like boys before Jordan even had something to ask about that. She had never thought that girls could _not_ like girls and boys could _not_ like boys in the first place.

\- She has to like beaches, Queen and kids, too – Jordan said in her most serious tone. Hanna laughed anyway, which Jordan didn’t get. She wasn’t trying to be funny.

\- I’m pretty sure she likes all of that.

   Jordan’s mouth opened as she let out an excited gasp. She almost wanted to be mad at her mom for not telling her before.

\- You already _know_ who she is?

  Hanna gave Jordan a sneaky little smile and glued their foreheads together once again.

\- You do, too – she whispered.

   Jordan’s heart raced. She tried to think of all the girls who were friends with her mom. Aria? There was a book written by her somewhere in Hanna’s room. Spencer? Ali? Probably not. Hanna hadn’t seen any of them that much after high school. Jordan had seen pictures of them together, though. They were all really pretty and seemed to be really nice. They had to be, otherwise her mom wouldn’t be friends with them.

   Maybe it was Mona, Jordan tried in her head. She was her mom’s manager, also really pretty and nice. The two of them saw each other almost every day and Mona would always have a Kinder chocolate bar with her to give Jordan in exchange for a kiss whenever she stopped by their place. Jordan would always gladly kiss her, but she enjoyed the bribe, too.

\- Who is she? – Jordan asked, too anxious to keep guessing.

    Hanna bit on her lower lip just barely and looked into Jordan’s eyes. She still seemed to be a little nervous, but a tiny smile played on her lips. She seemed to know that Jordan would like the surprise.

\- It’s Emmy.

   Jordan’s heart stopped for a second and then went into full speed again. _How_ hadn’t she guessed Emmy? Maybe because Emmy was too much of her mom’s best friend for her to think that they could be actual girlfriends.

\- You’re not… you’re not joking, are you? – Jordan asked, terrified of suddenly waking up from that unbelievably amazing dream.

   Hanna shook her head.

\- We slept together last night.

   Jordan recalled the sound of the storm, how worried she had been when thinking of her mom hearing the thunder all on her own, and then how relieved she had felt when seeing Emmy taking care of her, stroking her hair.

\- Right. I was there.

\- Yeah, baby, but I mean a different kind of sleeping together. One with kissing and spooning. It happened before you came in and saw us.

   Jordan smiled at that. She would’ve liked to see her mom and Emmy kissing. Just like she liked seeing her mom and dad kissing back when they were together. To all the other kids she knew, kissing was gross. But Jordan wasn’t immature like them. Kissing was cute to her. She also loved when grown-ups kissed her on the cheek, especially the way her parents used to kiss her, one on each side of her. She missed that so much. But now Emmy would probably start doing that with her mom and it would feel just as awesome. The possibility brought tears to Jordan’s eyes. Happy tears. _So_ happy. And she hugged Hanna really tight.

   Hanna held her just as tightly, gasping onto her shoulder.

\- It’s perfect, isn’t it? – Hanna stroked Jordan’s back. The sound of happy tears was in her voice as well. – You taught Emmy to appreciate Queen yesterday; you know how much she loves beaches and, most importantly, she not only loves kids, she loves _you_ more than anything else in her whole life.

   As her mother listed out her requirements for a good stepparent, Jordan’s tears kept streaking down her cheeks. She had never cried out of happiness before. She had always thought it was kind of a grown-up thing. But then again, she didn’t remember ever being _this_ happy.

\- I love her too – she whispered against her mom’s shoulder.

   Hanna slowly parted the hug and wiped Jordan’s tears away.

\- And now you'll be able to tell her that in person, again and again.

   Jordan sniffled, trying to get her breathing back to normal.

\- Does this mean she will stay with us?

   Hanna let out a patient sigh.

\- I don’t know, baby – she clasped both of Jordan’s hands. – We have to talk first, which is why I probably shouldn’t have told you about this before we had everything figured out. We know how excited you get over certain stuff.

   Jordan shook her head. Her mom was probably saying that because she often couldn’t hold her words in. But she wouldn’t say anything to ruin their conversation, not this time.

\- No, I promise I won’t be in the way and I promise I won’t say anything before you do. I’ll hide upstairs and I won’t even eavesdrop.

   Hanna chuckled, kissing the back of one of Jordan’s hand.

\- Deal – she picked Jordan up and they went back to the living room couch.

   Jordan still had her hands firmly around her Barbie doll, as if it was some kind of lucky charm.

\- I’m serious now, baby – Hanna said as she sat beside her. – _Please,_ don’t get your hopes up. Because then I’ll get my hopes up and it won’t be good for anybody. Hope breeds eternal misery, I think you’re old enough to know that.

   Jordan thought about those words for a moment. Hope was a feeling, how could it breed? And why misery? Maybe it just meant that, when your hopes are too high, you run the risk of being disappointed, and then miserable, if things don’t work out the way you wanted them to. But Jordan was sure that this was gonna work out. She was _so_ sure that Emmy would say _I love you_ back once her mom said it first.

\- My hopes aren’t up, Mom, I promise – she lied. Her hopes were so high up that they could reach the clouds.

   A second later, they heard a key turning in the front door lock. It was too soon for Pam to be back. Jordan panicked a little, holding her doll even tighter. She was about to jump off the couch and run upstairs when her mom kept her there by an arm. Hanna tilted her head towards the door, saying silently that it was okay for Jordan to go hug Emmy first. They would figure something out later.

   So Jordan dropped her Barbie onto her seat and ran to her godmom, incredibly relieved that she was back. Emmy had a big smile on her face once she looked down at Jordan. She picked her up and held her tightly, telling her that she had missed her and asking her how her morning had been.

   Jordan couldn’t focus on answering that right now, though. She remembered where Emmy was coming back from and breathed out that she was sorry about Wayne, stroking her long mermaid hair. She wished she could have that every single day. That smell and those arms that made her feel safe just like Hanna’s did.

   Soon enough – after Jordan made Emmy feel slightly guilty about missing ice cream time –, she heard her mom suggesting that she showed her godmom her exclusive line of Barbie clothes. It had to be her cue to run upstairs and let the two women alone to talk because she hadn’t brought any of her Barbie clothes with her. Jordan agreed and Emmy put her down.

  After she grabbed her doll once again, she hid in Emmy’s room behind the closed door. She had said she wouldn’t eavesdrop and she kept that promise, even though it was hard. She paced around the room for what it felt like hours, always holding her doll for moral support. Then, she hopped onto Emmy’s bed. There was a picture of her and Wayne on the nightstand. It wasn’t framed and had a wrinkle in the middle, as if it had spent some time folded in half. Emmy was little in the picture, maybe just a bit older than Jordan herself. The two of them were in a park, smiling widely, and Emmy had braces on. Jordan smiled as well. Her godmom seemed like the best friend any girl would ask for.

   Jordan put the picture back where she had found it and hopped onto the window seat. She glued her lips to her doll’s forehead and silently prayed that Wayne, who she secretly called grandpa once again – this time purposely –, could make everything work out, all the way from Heaven.

   After what it felt like a whole day, Jordan carefully opened the door, not holding her doll anymore – her hands were too sweaty for that right now. _I’m sure it’ll all be wonderful, baby,_ Jordan heard from the top of the stairs. It was Emmy’s voice. She was calling her mom _baby_. Her heart got so very warm with that. She would be a little jealous of any complete stranger, boy or girl, if they called her mom that. But she wasn’t jealous of Emmy. Not one bit.

   The happy tears came back while Jordan slowly stepped down the stairs and watched that kiss. They kept coming back once Jordan was seated on Emmy’s lap, hearing her say that she would try and be the second best mom ever to her. Jordan’s face was so wet at one point that Emmy actually asked her if something was wrong. Jordan was very pleased to say that things had never been so right before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who here had ever had those one-day friends like Mack? The ones you usually ran into on a playground or somewhere similar and then never saw again? I've had plenty. I've always been very shy so they were like little angels who would come up to me and ask if I wanted to play with them *-* 
> 
> Actually, I think it's safe to say that Jordan is pretty much me. I'm practically obsessed with beaches too and my love for Kinder chocolate is still super real.


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